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CaitlinMakesYouSmile
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Name: Caitlin
Interests: Clear nights and honest conversations. Those rainy days, when you drive just to think.
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/29/2006
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grace and i had some fun at the water works. she shot with film, but i had my digital.
i'll post the ones i took later.
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| It's winter now and I'm glad for it. As much as I hate to be cold, I do enjoy the cold weather and the way it seems to refresh everyone. The winter season always seems to have this kind of excitement for me, as if it holds a secret that only I know about. I have a lot of good memories left over from the winter time, and the rush of contentment i get from them comes back to me when I feel the cold wind against my face.
In addition to the anticipation of the changing seasons, I'm just feeling really good about life in general these days. It seems like I am less and less dependent on other people lately - that I am able to take care of myself. Not even just because I've finally gotten a job, but also emotionally, I am less needy than I used to be. In spite of being more self-sufficient, though, I also have noticed that I have a much better support system around me than before. Nathan and I have come a long way from our first couple months of dating, and he really encourages me all the time to be better than I think I can be. I owe a lot to him, and would probably be back to square one without his support. Grace and I have also been hanging out more, and it's nice because secretly, I think she is a lot like me - just a nicer, more outgoing, more talented, and more likeable version of me. Even though I don't have a lot of people in my life right now, it is better than feeling totally alone, and I am really content just to see where things go.
Still confused as far as God/religion go. I always thought when I was growing up that I would just be a Christian forever and nothing would make me think otherwise, so it's taken me kind of a long time to even acknowledge that I am seriously questioning the validity of Christianity. If anyone wants to talk to me about this, I am happy to discuss it, but if you are only going to judge and guilt trip me, you may as well save your breath because I've had too much of that when I try to talk about this.
I guess that's it for now. This is a long post, but I haven't really put up anything substantial in quite some time, so I feel that it is due. | | |
| Life is okay. I like it a lot. It is a perfect and gorgeous mixture of laughter and sleepless nights.
Spirituality - confusing. What's the deal with God? There's a lot that I don't understand, and I'm not really sure what to think about all of that right now. I think I just need to talk it out for a little while, maybe, and try to turn all of these discrete ideas into thoughts that I can process.
As for work, I finally have a job, and today is my first day. Hello to not being a parasite any longer.
Nathan is perfect for me, I think. Not just because he has my same goofy sense of humor and he will play Scrabble with me 5 days of the week. He just has this incredible calming effect on me. No matter what kind of stuff is going on my head, he just loves me and takes care of me. I am really happy with him, and I know I can count on him for anything. All I want is to be as good for him as he is for me.
Vitamins, hydration, car rides, catchy music, calculus, Monsters of Folk (nov 11), old friends.
Today, there is no hurry. There is only the rain and peaceful, subtle smiles.
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| Well, tonight I looked at my photographs for the first time in a long time. I forgot how much I loved photography, and now I've realized that maybe I'm not as bad at it as I thought I was. I've used my camera once since June, but I think that's going to be changing pretty soon. On a side note, why is Thunderheist's music so good, but their vocals so... bad?
[oh, don't steal this from me, please.]
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I'm Caitlin. I like being alive.
